Random Acts: Fiction & Essay

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Jesus Christ Comments On Mini-Series

In a rare, exclusive interview, the reclusive Jesus Christ discussed his image on the cover of  TV Guide, the  mini-series based upon his life, JEsus! - and dished a little on his personal life.

“I feel that they’ve done my story to death. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.  I do however  think that I should be allowed to play myself. God knows I need the money. And that TV Guide cover! I find that actor to be totally unrealistic for the role. I’m just surprised that they didn’t choose Brad Pitt or Matthew Perry. Surprised and relieved.

“I don’t even own a television set. I just got back into town and moved into my new place.

“And it’s funny, even in NYC, I seem to attract attention on the street. Many people seem shocked and intimidated by my presence. Many others seem to have no idea who I am. ‘Get a job, hippie!’ some yell at me.

“Young women try to pick me up.

“Young men try to pick me up.

“I don’t get out much. I mostly stay at home in my apartment, read, and talk to God. And the holidays tend to depress me.

“But my Easter was super, thanks for asking! Had a few friends over for dinner. It was nice. I love to cook. But let me ask you, what do bunnies and egg hunts really have to do with the concept of Easter? What’s up with that?”

When asked whether he would be viewing the JEsus! miniseries, he seemed somewhat enthusiastic.

“I might watch it at a friend’s house, or I might even buy a television set. I look forward to seeing it. It’ll probably stir up memories of the old days.”

Jesus Christ has been back among the people for several months. His initial reappearance however occurred during a busy celebrity news week, and the articles were bumped.

April 5, 2010 - Posted by | satire, speculation | , , ,

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